Transformation Whisperer & Integration Coach
From an early age, I was entranced with nature. Wandering in the woods or just outside in my backyard was one of my favorite pastimes. I found peace, connection and oneness with the world.
I grew up in a very devoutly religious household. I went to Catholic School and I honestly felt a lot of solace in my faith. I took the sacraments very seriously and wanted to be the best person I could be.
At the same time, I yearned for freedom. During a long, humid, lonely summer, I read Pippi Longstocking. Suddenly, it was like my alter ego was there waiting for me to follow her into the wild and free nature that was at my core. With wiry red hair and freckles and a precocious personality, I felt so connected to her.
I daydreamed of the freedom to be whatever I wanted. I longed to not have to worry about things like going to school, act a certain way or having to do the things I was told to do. I loved her fearless nature and the way she dealt with challenges like they were just another normal thing to have to deal with in any given day.
After life sort of took over, I got sucked in to the expectations of the world with school, work, married life and children – and to a very large degree, I embraced those things because I loved being a Mom and caretaker of my “people.” I also thought I was doing the right things for a career in order to set myself up for “success.”
Days turned to months, months turned to years and before I knew it, those dreams of Pippi were almost forgotten. I achieved that six figure salary, ran my own IT firm and also had a corporate career that would say by most standards that I had “made it” in the world.
But life has a way of bringing us back to our true nature. Sadly, I found that it took a broken marriage (or two), the suicide of my father and the loss of others close to me to really take a look at my life and what was truly important. It was a rapid fire of sadness, loneliness and feeling like a failure on so many levels. Losing my Dad was the worst during an already tumultuous time and had been completely unexpected. It took years for me to reconcile having a parent that left me deliberately. (At least that is how it felt at the time.)
It wasn’t until I started working with my own guide and medicine woman that I was able to see clearly into my experience, to be understanding and loving towards myself and others in a completely different way. It was as though I got plugged into the Universe at last, whereas I had been just getting by for all those years without realizing I was connected to something so much bigger than myself.
Of course now I realize that it was just a removal of the veil and I was finally aware of what had actually always been there. A “Wizard of Oz” moment – is what I like to call it.
Once I found the healing and peace with the help of my guide and plant medicine, I was transformed forever. As my journey continued, I have been blessed to be able to work with others, facilitating similar awakenings.
In the end, we are all on a quest to find what has always been there. We feel separate and lost until we have that recognition of always having been part of the greatness that is the Universe, God, or whatever your word is for the higher collective consciousness and being.
Regardless of how long it takes, we all find our way home. For some of us it takes longer than others. While I wish I had learned some of the lessons I needed to learn sooner, it was so wonderful that I found my way when I did.
A common saying is “A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” No matter where you are in life, the journey to our true nature is there waiting today.
When I discovered my inner Pippi at last, I realized she had always been there and truly it had only been a slight turn of the head to see what was already the reality of existence. And to borrow from the “Wizard” again – “there’s no place like home.” All we have to do is find our way back to Source.